With the potential to drive greatness, or withhold it, perfectionism is often viewed as a neutral trait. I’m a perfectionist in many ways, I came to know it long ago, but never recognized how its manifestation limited me, until recently… And only at that point, did I take the plunge to conquer it.
On Saturday, November 8, 2014, my friend (hi Ashley!) told me, “You’re sitting on your gifts 😟.” I opted to be a spectator at an event hosted by her church, where participants share their gifts in praise|worship (great event, by the way!). She’d asked me to dance in advance, but I had time constraints that wouldn’t allow me to choreograph and practice as much as I would have liked, so I politely offered a tentative yes, which I knew would likely be a “not this time.” At the event I mentioned having written a piece I could share, but I had every excuse for why I
shouldn’twouldn’t: “I haven’t finalized it yet” or “I haven’t practiced reciting it” or “I’ve never delivered a piece in spoken word”… The truth is, I was afraid. Will either of these things be good enough?
The same applies to this blog, countless ideas I’ve had in the past, and an almanacs worth scrolling in my head even now. Will it be good enough? Will they like it? The resounding answer whispering as I step through the doors of each new year has been “NO!”; so I’ve offered little of myself to the world. I asked myself as this week began, “who are you trying to please?”
We are creatures of connectivity; we flourish as we receive affirmation, affection and love in our lives. All that to say: YES, I want you to like this! But, whether you do or don’t won’t stop me from writing and sharing, in love. I’ve jumped in the ocean without vision of the nearest shore, and I trust God to work through me. And when doubt creeps into my shadow, I’ll ask: What’s good enough, and who are they, anyway?
What’s your take on perfectionism? Is it affecting you? Have you conquered it?
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