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A&Q
by esse11eSome days, you think you can figure it all out, you know… Find answers to still unasked questions Some days. Sometimes, you think you know. Even when you’re having difficulty distinguishing thought from feeling. And those days seem easier. Limbo, while “free-spirited” really is no fun. It restrains you, from control; leaves you inquiring . . . about your very own life, So why?...
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Things we tend to Omit.
by esse11eSmiling in the faces of judgment; Laughing in the midst of repugnance. We’d rather masque our shortcomings for image than to embrace them for testament. I’ve fallen beneath measurable lengths. I’ve committed myself to wholehearted distrust of my maker. I, thus, have failed. In an effort to still omit during alleged transparence, I opt not to share the gory details. One hundred ninety one...
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Broken.
by esse11eI used to soar. Swiftly, softly, sometimes. I used to float. With flexibility. I used to. My wings have been shafted under the wind of disappointment. You. Told me things I believed in love, but belief is a personal problem only to be dealt by self. Fool me once. No shame. You ran a game I never knew I was playing. Hurdling over puddles...
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Catch
by esse11eTwenty two years ago I already knew I’d run to you. Love. I didn’t know I’d be running from, too. Who keeps teaching us that we need relationships to accentuate our greatness? How are we to define ourselves when we are constantly looking for someone else to help conceptualize us? I’m not chasing, anymore, and yet shorty you keep swinging my way. When my hugs...
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Frac•ture•d
by esse11eWhen I wake every morning, I rise as one, at once. I look circumspectly in mirrors at pieces and then a whole. Rarely, if ever, does it cross my mind that I am a puzzle in myself. That I am holed. It is in those rarities, though, when reality strikes me bold. Life happens fast. I have been trained to see me holistically, to...
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re|ject|ed
by esse11eAs hard as it’s been to have boundaries and to say “no”, what’s it like to be on the receiving end? How does it feel when gravity works against you… when the very thing you want isn’t out of reach, but refuses to stretch its limbs to pull you close enough to let the static between arm hairs collapse and touch? …and what’s more than...
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Serendipitous.
by esse11eIf I could speak briefly about what life should be when I fathom, absolutely, having come into Union with you, I imagine my voice would shake, emitting resonance as follows: It wasn’t planned, how you and I met, not by me at least. I spent my whole life looking for you going in mistaken directions what felt like a million times. I even envisaged having...
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in.decision.
by esse11eEverything in life is a choice. Even when we choose to do nothing, we are doing something. Sometimes it seems right, to do nothing; sometimes we are content to wait our turn. Sometimes, the holding pattern becomes so familiar that we find ourselves happy in a cycle that never changes. Unless you can honestly tell me that you’ve accomplished, or worked tirelessly to accomplish...
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On Love – & loss.
by esse11eSo often, so prevalently, the word “love” is thought to reflect intimate, romantic relationship. In reality, love is a much wider umbrella under which we are all supposed to live. God commands that we do all things in love. The truth is, I haven’t always done things in love. Frankly, I haven’t even always tried to. There were times that I was content to...
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Mis|tak|en
by esse11eThere’s a quote that reads, “Mistakes are proof that you are trying.” I love that quote; it’s encouraging, not condemning. The more I read it though, the more I realize I don’t exactly agree with it. For me, it isn’t the mistakes that prove effort, it’s the acknowledgement, the conceptualization of whatever act as “mistake, and what’s more, it’s the conviction one feels after...