Besides the time everyone stood at the edge of “a bridge” and decided to jump while you opted to turn around and take the stairs down instead, how often are you in the no?

It’s so tempting to be in the know, aware of all that’s happening, not missing anything… Like when you were a kid and didn’t want to fall asleep while others were up around you. Being involved in the cyclic conversation about The Little Rascals that you’d had 132x before seemed necessary at the time; your friends wouldn’t joke about you being a “sleepyhead”; you didn’t get toothpaste on your face; but you had to beg your mom to stay home instead of waking for church the next morning… and since she wasn’t going for it, you struggled to keep your eyes open until snack time at children’s church.

How much different is it now, as an adult? I’ve struggled a million times with being on the scene or not, and what each symbolized and truly meant to me. I enjoy music, I love to dance, and i LOVE my friends… But I also want to “get right” because I love the Lord. I’ve been on the receiving end of lost friendships, and it hurts me to say that I have also, more recently, been the catalyst for some dwindling, based on decisions to be in the no.

I won’t paint a picture like I haven’t been to a bar|lounge recently and enjoyed myself. I have fun when I go, but that’s besides the point. Some have argued that it’s “not that serious”, that it’s “harmless fun”… I’ve been called boring, I even claim “grandma”, but sometimes I grow tired of defending myself.

You may ask why this matters. Well, I doubt I’m the only young Christian to struggle with decision making and going right when everyone else chooses left. For years I’ve compromised my faith by going to clubs, bars, and lounges getting flat out drunk, and waking up the next day sometimes unable to recall the tale, let alone tell it. I don’t say that to condemn anyone who chooses differently than I, but to affirm and reaffirm what I know.

It has grown increasingly easier to decline invitations to certain places; but the imagined look on my friends faces still tears my heart into pieces that only God knows how to replace.

I’ve got a great sense of humor. I can relate to many people. Don’t shun me for growing, please; I’m neither perfect nor pretending to live a wholly righteous life, I’m human. As Lolo Jones once said, “I’m not the nun in every room…”, I enjoy laughter!  With that, I realize I am equally content to have brunch with mimosas or a more harmless glass of wine at a nice dinner or home with friends, to attend a sporting event, to create, and a host of apparently “less fun” things, according to some.  But, I can’t take myself seriously as a growing Christian if I make the same mistakes over and over, if I wild out in an altered state of mind amidst a club full of sweaty, drunken people with blatant disregard for the sober promises they’ve made to their futures.

What’s your struggle between being in the know, and in the no? Talk to me! 🙂

Romans 12:2 (NIV) Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing, and perfect will.

❤